Love Won't Carry the Day

I met someone recently who reminded me why I do this work.

She has three standard poodles, a pottery collection that could easily belong in a gallery, and—like so many people I meet—no estate plan at all.

“I know it’s important,” she said, her youngest dog dozing at her feet. “But every time I try to get started, I find something else to do. Yesterday I cleaned out my junk drawer instead of calling you.”

She laughed. But underneath the humor was a truth I hear too often: it feels easier to delay than to decide.

And yet, nearly two-thirds of Americans have no estate plan. No will. No trust. No instructions about what should happen to the people, pets, and passions they hold most dear.

Without a plan, decisions fall to the state. And that means the things that matter most—your animals, your art, your causes—are left to someone else’s judgment, not your own. Who wants those important decisions left to the state of California?

It doesn’t have to be that way.

Estate planning doesn’t need to be cold or clinical. In fact, when done with care, it can be one of the most personal and creative things you’ll ever do. A final act of love that protects what matters and ensures your voice carries on.

When the System Doesn’t See What You See

Traditional estate planning tends to focus on assets: tax efficiency, probate avoidance, legal technicalities.

Those things matter, of course. But they’re not the whole picture—especially for those of us whose lives are filled with meaning that isn’t measured in bank accounts.

I once worked with a client named Margaret. A retired real estate agent, she had two aging cats and a home full of original artwork. She assumed her sister would know what to do if something happened. Then her sister moved abroad—and suddenly Margaret realized she hadn’t formally named anyone to step in for her animals or her art.

This is the gap in most estate plans: they manage the “what,” but not the “why.”

That’s why I take a different approach—something I call Values-Based Legacy Planning.

It starts not with your assets, but with your values. We begin by exploring your relationships, your commitments, and your creative life. From there, we build a plan that honors them.

When Diane, a social justice advocate and art collector, completed her plan, she told me: “It didn’t feel like I was planning for my death. It felt like I was creating something bigger than me.  What a relief!”

That’s the kind of plan that brings peace of mind—not just to you, but to those you leave behind.

A Framework for Planning with Heart

Here’s a step-by-step process for building a legacy plan rooted in your values.

Step 1: Start with What You Love

Before listing your assets, take stock of what you actually treasure.

For pets, create a “care profile”:

• Daily routines

• Health and medical needs

• Personality quirks

• Favorite comforts

• A few photos that capture their spirit

For art and collections, document:

• Photos and provenance

• The story behind each piece

• What it represents to you

• Any promises made or intended gifts

• Which items are especially meaningful

This inventory is practical, yes—but more importantly, it captures your perspective and helps others understand what these things meant to you.

Step 2: Name the Right People

Who will step into your shoes when you no longer can?

For your pets, ask:

• Who shares your approach to care and lifestyle?

• Who has space, time, and willingness?

• Is there someone for short-term help, and someone for the long-term?

For your collections, consider:

• Who appreciates their significance?

• Is there a museum or institution aligned with your values?

• Who can act as a steward, not just a recipient?

These aren’t roles to assign lightly. Have real conversations. Explain your wishes. Ask for a clear yes—not a vague “I’ll try.”

Step 3: Write It All Down—In Your Words

Legal documents will say what needs to happen. But your vision statement explains why.

This isn’t a legal form—it’s a personal message. A letter to your loved ones and the future.

Include:

• Your core values

• Hopes for your pets

• Intentions for your collection

• Thoughts on the causes you’ve supported

• Specific requests or stories

• Anything that might help people make decisions in your spirit

One client wrote about how her cat needed to sleep in the sun every morning—and how she hoped her future caregiver would honor that. Another shared that her art collection was less about value and more about protest, and asked that it continue to inspire activism.

These details are often left out of legal documents—but they carry your voice, and that makes all the difference.

Step 4: Put the Right Documents in Place

Now that your intentions are clear, the legal structure can support them.

Consider:

• A revocable living trust to avoid probate

• A will

• A pet trust with funding and oversight

• Instructions for your collection

• Healthcare directives

• Powers of attorney for finances and healthcare

Work with someone who will take your wishes seriously—someone who sees your plan as more than paperwork.

Step 5: Share Your Plan

A great plan only works if people know it exists.

• Share your intentions with those involved

• Store your documents in an accessible place

• Make physical and digital copies

• Record a video if it helps clarify

• Revisit the plan regularly as life changes

When everyone is on the same page, your wishes are easier to honor—and conflict is less likely to arise.